Nerve-Wracking Weekend: Fears for Baby

This has been a bit of a trying few days. I didn't want to blog about it because, to be honest, I was trying really hard not to go crazy thinking about it. Now that I have some answers now, though, I'd like to share how I've been dealing with the agony of not knowing whether or not one of my babies was alive for the past two days.

It all started a few days ago. Friday night, I believe it was, actually. Possibly Saturday night--I'm not really good with time-frames and things like that. But basically I was hanging out with a friend for a majority of the afternoon and early evening. We weren't really doing much. Actually, I was sitting most of the time while he skate-boarded and played with some of the kids in the neighborhood. Nothing that would over-excite me or anything like that, as I am supposed to be "taking it easy".

Not too long after it finally got dark, I started having very painful cramps in my lower abdomen. They didn't really feel painful enough to be contractions, so I didn't think much of it (and to be honest, my pants were getting a little too tight, so I figured that might have something to do with it). I just kept adjusting to the strange non-contractions and delt with it. Eventually, they got so bad that I needed to get up and walk around, which seemed to help. I wasn't feeling a lot of movement from either baby, and it started to worry me although I did my best to keep calm. A friend of mine recently had a baby, so I talked to her, asking her to describe her "fake" contractions, which she did, and it set me at ease some, and after walking around for a little while I seemed to feel a lot better, and eventually went home.

That's when things seemed to get worse.

I still felt no fetal movement from my babies. And the cramps were getting worse. I changed my pants, worried that those may be the cause of a lot of my pains, and once I was comfortable, the cramps did seem to ease up. However, there was this strange pain that I had at the front of my stomach. It was like when you have a bruise and you touch it--it gives off a very distinct, small pain to let you know that you have a bruise there. Only...the bruise felt like it was inside my stomach, and I had no discoloration on my skin that may have been proof of a bruise. I did start feeling some movement, but only on one side of my belly, and where that strange bruised feeling was located was right where my other baby should have been wiggling with her sister.

It was very hard to not think about it all of the time, but I knew that panicking would only make the situation worse. I also knew that it would be absolutely ridiculous to call me doctor after 9pm on a Saturday when I had an appointment Monday morning. Surely I would have to feel something by then, right?

Apparently, not. All Sunday, I felt nothing on that side of my belly.

To be honest, it's very hard to tell with twins who's moving where. My babies have been in this awkward "ying-yang" position (one breech, one vertex), kind of wrapped around each other at an odd tilt for a majority of my pregnancy. Basically, when they kick, they're kicking each other in the face or the side of the head. It also makes kicks hard to differentiate from punches and the like.

Luckily, when I went to the doctor early this morning at 7am, everything seemed to be fine. I marveled at my ability to hold out and not go insane--although I won't lie, I did lose some sleep over the ordeal. It just amazes me how I managed to keep as calm as I did. There was really no research that I could do on my weird bruise-like pain, and to be honest I'm still not quite sure what it is. I'm thankful that everything is normal, and that despite the lack of strong movement, my little girl is doing fine and her heartbeat is strong. Apparently, she's face down, which accounts for the lack of movement--something I told myself over and over again in attempt to keep myself from going nuts.

The biggest reason I'm sharing this story is because of the extreme relief that I feel, and to let those of you out there reading this that sometimes your worst fears don't come true. Don't get me wrong, if I'd gone any longer without feeling something for sure, I would have called my doctor immediately and gotten his opinion--especially if I wasn't going to see the OB this morning. It's important, though, to not let yourself be overwhelmed by your fears. As a first-time mom I know that it can be very hard not to think that every little thing you feel or may not feel is an abnormality that needs to be checked out immediately, but the most important thing you can do is remain calm. If you get overly excited, it can cause more damage than good. Happily, everything worked out for me and things are going swimmingly. If you have any extreme questions or concerns, try looking them up or read from your ample pile of literature on pregnancy (we know that you have it, lol) before calling your doctor. Everything is a lot more manageable if you just remain calm, though, no matter what the case is.